Werewolves, Vampires, and Fairies, Oh my!

We last left our residents of Bon Temps in some pretty messed up situations, Tara’s life hanging in the balance, Bill and Eric covered in the blood of the rogue Authority agent, and with a pissed off 3,000 vampire king on the loose. Spoilers…

I understand that Bill and Eric need to flee the country from the Authority and go into hiding, and I’m kind of hoping it turns into a buddy comedy adventure, because I can totally see that between them. “Dude, Where’s My Coffin?” is a spinoff that desperately needs to happen. But they get caught before I could get started on writing that screenplay.

Then we have what I really want to be a budding romance between Jason and the Reverend, who takes ‘coming out of the coffin’ to a whole new level–if only Jessica didn’t get in the way. I love that LaFayette gets his snap back on when he tells off Alcide, who comes off as a Bro when he offers Sookie a place to hide from the recently released Russell Edginton.

Meanwhile Sam is being tortured by Reba McEntire’s wolf pack so they can get their alpha’s body back, which they chow down on like chicken fried steak at an Old Country Buffet. During the whole episode I felt bad for Terry because no one listens to him; all he wants is for his stupid war buddy to leave before he opens more old wounds. Apparently everyone from his old squad is being firebombed, but when Terry tries to explain that his house fire was started by a ghost–a valid cause of house fires–he’s greeted with disbelief.

And then, last but no least, we have the resurrection of Tara as a vampire, who plays ‘wild vampire possum’ until the very last second. I was terrified that she was being written out of the series, because Tara is my absolute favorite. Oh, and kudos on the credits song choice, it was the perfect pick for the season premiere.

Extra body count: 4

Named character body count: Hayes (I had to look that shit up)

Total True Deaths: 5

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