Diablo III Can Go To Hell

Diablo III, releasing on May 15th, is Blizzard’s newest installment to their franchise. I’ll tell you right now that this game looks gorgeous, the gameplay has been greatly updated since the titles before it, and that fans will probably love the hell out of it. Everyone else who’s either been a casual player of the series, or hasn’t played any of the Diablo’s should not waste their money on it. Blizzard has done far too little for this game, and it’s been far too long since the last games for anyone who hasn’t gotten into the series yet to care. Let me put this into perspective: Diablo I came out in 1996, Diablo II in 2000.

Now here we are, twelve years after the last game, and they show us this:

…Which looks fantastic… Until you boot up the game and came to face the horrific realization that the series you once loved has crawled its way out of the grave, slapped on some whore make-up and tries to seduce you with the same outdated genre.

Top-down dungeon crawlers should be a game design that should have died when X-Play refused to review them anymore. These dime-a-dozen games obviously hold appeal to those who loved the original Diablo’s or Baldur’s Gate, but times have changed–but nobody tell Blizzard that because they’re desperately trying to cling to their rapidly aging and dust-collecting franchises.

If you love Diablo, there’s nothing I could do to sway you from delving into top-down dungeons filled with rats and skeletons. Everyone else should probably just avoid this retro fad-wannabe. I give it a month before people stop caring about it after launch.

One thought on “Diablo III Can Go To Hell

  1. I was intrigued by the direction of this article. I respect the position but the bluntness of it coupled with the lack of explanation makes it seem more biased than objective… or even subjective in a logical manner. In other words, it seems far more like a rant without a fleshed out explanation or true foundation than a guided and informative piece.

    As a final note:

    “Top-down dungeon crawlers should be a game design that should have died when X-Play refused to review them anymore.”

    One of your main issues with the game appears to be its entire genre. I don’t understand how one would expect the entire genre to change in the 3rd iteration. Games such as “Torchlight” and “Deathspank” are made with a Diablo-esque dungeon crawler feel and have been given rave reviews from popular review websites which include g4’s x-play.

    Regardless, a deeper explanation of your thoughts may go a long way towards making a strong and arguable point.

    Thanks for the read

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