Pat Sajack is a total dick

Pat Sajack is host of America’s favorite game show, and he’s kind of an asshole.

I’m not talking about how he admitted to hosting Wheel of Fortune while he was drunk. It’s his sober behavior that bothers me, a glaring minority of a viewer as a 22-year-old who tunes in nearly every night. Here’s why:

He doesn’t believe in you

Revel in your lucky moment of landing on the elusive $1,000,000 slot on the wheel for half a second because that’s how long you have until Pat reminds you that there’s “a long road ahead” to actually win it. Here’s what you have to do to win, according to

First, this new wedge will only be added during one single round of play. The contestant who lands on the million has to solve the puzzle, make it to the bonus round without going bankrupt, and then spin the bonus wheel and again land on a million dollar spot there. After that, of course, he or she will have to win the bonus round to get the cash.

You’d think a game show host would get excited about possibly making a contestant a millionaire, but he’d rather stick to the odds.

“None of you have any money! Spin again, losers!” Image:

He already knows the answer (so you should too)

Nothing makes Pat Sajack more antsy than taking too long to solve the puzzle. You want to spin again? An exasperated Sajack will allow it but not without a condescending tone. I imagine that when he says “OK, spin again,” he murmurs “…dumbass” under his breath low enough that the mic won’t pick it up.

But, hey—it’s easy for him when he’s holding the answer on a card. When you ask to solve, he’ll say “Uh, yeah!” as if he were a 15-year-old being asked by his mom if he would be home on time. Patience, Pat! Patience! You’re going to have to fill a half hour either way.

He’s incapable of empathy

This may sound like a complete exaggeration—and it probably is—but I’ve made enough observations from my couch to draw this conclusion.

Didn’t solve the final puzzle? Ooooh, that sucks! Let’s dramatically open this envelope to see how much you could have won! Or did you pick up a prize and then land on Bankrupt? He’ll be taking that back!

Yoink! | Image:

I’m sure being asked “Can I buy a vowel?” for 30 years got old just as fast as touching a screen did for Vanna White, but she can at least fake some enthusiasm. And you don’t see Alex Trebek give an attitude, do you?

Channel your inner senior citizen and watch Wheel of Fortune weekdays at 7:30 p.m. EST on ABC.

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