GCB fails to raise an eyebrow…possibly due to Botox

GCB, which was called Good Christian Bitches and then Good Christian Belles, premiered on ABC a couple weeks ago. If you like feathers, diamonds, blondes, pearls, bad jokes, and fake tans, this is the show for you. The premise involves a Ponzi schemer dying and his secrets being exposed to the world. His wife, Amanda, is forced to return with her children to Dallas, Texas, in order to find a job and reconnect with her past. Enter drama.

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It may be a farce about the Texan ideal but it fails.

This show flies through. There’s hardly a scene without a song playing quietly while fancy shoes hop along fancy carpeted floors. There are some good jokes for these belles but for the most part, it’s everything you would expect. It is way too slapstick for what they are trying to go for. If this is a replacement for Desperate Housewives, God help us all.

In the pilot, Amanda’s husband dies, the family moves to Dallas, the daughter gets a makeover because “big hair never goes out of style”, she confronts the women she wronged in high school, a car salesman makes a move, she finds out that her “friends” are trying to ruin her life, she gets a job as a waitress, she find out that a husband of one of her friends is gay and she breaks a heel. Is that enough for you? Are you intrigued now? The fact that this pilot hardly takes a breath reinforces the notion that It. Is. Crap.

Kristin Chenowith is the one sparkle on the cubic zirconia. She’s the new queen of mean and uses the bible and God to manipulate those around her. Too bad that she isn’t given a bigger role.

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The bottom line: it’s not worth watching the 43 minutes, unless your head is filled with nitrous oxide. You’d have to be air headed to find this interesting. If you miss high school or Texas that much, watch Friday Night Lights instead. You’ll enjoy that.

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