The Dark Knight Rises. I Get Uncomfortable.


Anne Hathaway (Selina Kyle) purring sweet nothings threats of class warfare in Christian Bale’s (Bruce Wayne’s) ear.


I’ll admit I never saw Batman Begins because, well, I hate Christian Bale and Katie Holmes.  I only saw The Dark Knight because of Heath Ledger–and boy was he good.  (Obligatory moment of silence.)  I just don’t identify with Batman.  I loved Tim Burton’s take on the series because he knew Bruce Wayne/Batman was always the least dynamic character.  Burton’s Batman was there to wine and dine the more interesting women leads and fight the spectacularly wicked bad guys, but it was never really his movie. He was just there.


Nolan’s Batman is not cut from the same rubber cloth.  He has a bit of a Jesus persecution complex I just don’t care for.  With Michael Cain (Alfred) blubbering on about Bruce in the opening credits, I’m left to think “why am I supposed to feel bad for this guy?”  Awkward!  Because he was falsely imprisoned?  Why should it be easy for a rich white guy to put on a preposterously fancy suit and drive around fighting crime?  Maybe I want to hang out with the 99%, Bruce!  Until you’re taking on Wall Street give me a break.


And Christian Bale’s performance, which mostly amounts to growl-whispering for the duration of any and every scene, is downright unbearable.  With Anne Hathaway set to ruin Catwoman even more than Halle Berry I’m just hoping Tomy Hardy (Bane) and Marion Cotillard (Miranda Tate/ Talia Al Ghul) can make the third in Nolan’s triology watchable. I won’t dare hope for good.

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