Breaking up is the new black

There seems to be no better time to break up than this time of year. Come on, all the cool kids are doing it! Demi & Ashton, Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries, and you with sanity. These days, nobody can stick together even though it’s a tough economy. If you can hook up with a rich someone or other, get married and then divorce, you can probably get away with half of their stuff.

The biggest problem is that we’re teaching kids that cougars can’t be happy with younger men and that marrying just so that you can have a big star studded wedding is just not viable. So, gather with those in-laws for the last time and gorge on turkey while spouting out that you love America and stuffing. Nobody will blame you for doing that in this day and age.

How many times will we have to field questions from intrigued children who ask serious questions about how long Kim Kardashian’s marriage lasted? Marriage and weddings are something to occupy your time because you’re not willing to invest in a less severe hobby like table tennis. Instead, money can be thrown away like it’s nothing and a marriage that lasts has become a myth. Much like Lindsay Lohan’s sobriety.

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